#19

Crying with tears of sorrow and despair

Chapter 11: Their Tears

I felt a splatter of water upon my cheeks and the once rhythmically breathing was replaced by heaves and I heard a small sobbed. I opened my eyes and I looked up at my savior but unfortunately for me, the moonlight was being covered by a cloud and the shadow of my window covered his eyes. Yet I caught a glimpse of silver running down his cheek and was disappeared when he rubbed his cheek. I lifted my head from his heaving chest.

“Sleep, Red Rose,” he finally choked.

“Are you alright?” I asked, feeling the urge to lay my head back down on his warm chest.

He lowered his hand and placed it upon my shoulder and for the first time of my life, I saw him smiled. It was beautiful even though I couldn’t see how his eyes or the rest of his face. His jaw was beautifully shaped, at my view, it looked sharp and the color of the skin was gray. Maybe it’s the moonlight that caused his skin to have that color, I don’t know.

“Don’t cry,” I whispered again when I saw a tear rolling down his chin and rained unto me. I lifted my hand and used my thumb to wipe the following tears. My words and action caused him to turn his head; his hair was facing towards me. Under the moonlight, his hair was dark blue in color, a very unique color to be exact. I sat up, pulling the blanket up with me, to cover both me and him, keeping us both nice and warm in this cold night.

“Go to sleep, Red Rose,” he finally whispered after a short silence. I placed my hand on his shoulder and I felt like crying too. He has not once raised his voice let alone cry. Thus, it has caused me so much pain in both my heart and mind to see him suffering so badly.

“You’re not alone,” I whispered, my hand still placed on his shoulder. He lifted his left hand to his shoulder and placed his hand upon mine.

“I know, Red Rose, go to sleep. You have a long day tomorrow,” he said as he got out from the bed. Like an obedient child, I lie back on my bed and shut my eyes. I heard him walked towards the window and I opened my eyes again. I saw him climbed out of the window and sat onto the roof. I got up from my bed and wrapped my blanket around my body as I walked towards him. I think he heard me I saw him pull his hoodie up. I sat next to him, once again unable to see his face.

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” he whispered, softly. I looked up at the sky and gasped. Thousands and thousands of diamonds were scattered across the inky sky, even the moon was no able to out shine them tonight. I nodded, not sure if he saw me though.  We sat there for hours, doing nothing but star gazing. We just sat there, grateful for each other’s presence even though we did not utter even a single word. I shivered even though I was wrapped with a thick blanket. He pulled me closer to him, once again offering me warmth and comfort.

And so I watch my sweet boy fall fast asleep
like the embers dying slowly in the fire
one by one, as my mind tires.
I see the faces of all those who sleep in this dark night
their dreams come forth and spill across the endless sky
then down to earth
where dreamers lie
like stars your silver eyes glisten as we watch them
bright as the sun, you shine so bright my perfect gem
and we watch as our prayers find their way to God
so they could return to us, or it may take millions of years
but that wont keep me from praying to Him
or pleading for my child's soul
and I’ll kiss his hand when its in mine.

And so I watch my mother as I fall asleep
like the embers going out inside the fire
one by one, as I get tired
I dream of others who are asleep with me on this cold night
their dreams come out and dance across the big black sky
and then they fall 
to where their heads lie
in starlight I see your tears as we watch them
a smile as sweet as dawn, you call me your brightest gem
and we watch as our prayers find their way to God
I wish they would return to us, 
you say it may take millions of years
but that wont keep me from praying to Him
or pleading for my mother's soul
who kissed my hand in the dim light

And I’ll always send my prayers to Him
And I’ll all always plead for my child's mother's soul
As I kiss this hand that rests in mine…

The song he used to sing to his mother was stuck in his mind as he tried very hard to push it away. He sighed, wishing that the song would not bring him horrible memories but warm, sweet ones. He knew very little about his father for his father was always away until that day. Until the day his mother departed him.

And as he stared across the diamond sky, he saw his younger self kneeling beside his mother, crying her name over and over again. A child will no longer be the same when they lost their mother. He was not the same anymore, he was a boy and he soon became a young man. It was fast, but things like this will speed up time, not physically but mentally. Just before dawn arrived, his younger self jerked awake when he felt presence in the room. He cursed silently to himself for nodding off to sleep and not staying awake. When he opened his eyes, he saw a pair of worried baby blues. He was taken back and scrambled back until his back touched the wall which was not far off. He rubbed his eyes and he took a good look at the person who owns such beautiful eyes.

“Boy,” the man said as he reached out his left hand, offering the boy to stand up. He tried but his knees buckled but the man was fast enough to catch hold of him.

“There is no need to be afraid, I’m Kendrick and I’m here to help you,”

She saw him walked out of the room, his face was grim and his eyes were red.

Was he crying? If so, why?

She saw him sat down on the roof and she was tempted to join him. Michaela sighed and she begun to make her decision. She then lay on her back and she closed her eyes, trying to decide. Finally, Michaela made up her mind to join him, she got up on her feet and she saw she was too late. Morgan climbed out of the window with her blanket wrapped around like her. She saw Morgan sat next to him and although the distance was far, but she strained her ears to hear their conversation.

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” she heard him said and she despised Morgan. She felt as though her whole body was filled with gasoline and her anger was a match, lighting up every inch of her gasoline body.

Why Morgan? Why must it be someone like Morgan? Some stupid girl whom doesn’t even know the real world, the world both Michaela and him live. Morgan lives in another world, a world way different from Michaela’s, a world different from him. A small voice spoke in Michaela’s mind,

Both your world are about to be combined.

The truth. The truth always hurt and Michaela has to face reality and not linger at the past, the past that has once hurt her, once befriended her, and once loved her. Now she has to leave it all behind and welcome the future. It scares her, really, for Michaela does not know what will bring to her in the future. Michaela saw something glittering from the distance and she brought her binoculars up to her eyes. What she saw made her gasped and felt pain in her heart. She saw his draped his arm around Morgan and she saw a single tear streaking down his smooth cheek; he was crying silently to himself. She heard mutters and she strained her ears; he was singing softly.

Michaela lowered her binoculars and she slumped onto the floor and she lay on her back. The cold roof greeted her as soon as her body touched the roof. Michaela stared at the black sky and she felt something warm on both her cheeks. With shaky fingers, Michaela reached and touched her right cheek; she was too, crying. She was crying because her past leaving her, crying because he had left her, crying because she felt pain for him, crying because he had to go through all those horror, crying because she felt lonely, crying because she felt the pain in her heart, crying with tears of sorrow and despair. Michaela’s vision was blurred and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, letting out a soft sob. She then turned to her side and curled into a tight ball, her tears were flowing down onto her cheeks and on to the cold roof. She was tired too, tired of herself, tired of her life, tired of everything; physically and mentally. She blocked out the world as she shivered on the hard, cold roof while listening to him singing to himself and to Morgan yet not to her. The scar in her heart has deepened into a thin line.

He sang softly as he stared out to the horizon. He then heard a small sob somewhere of the distance; it didn’t come from Morgan for Morgan was beside him, fast asleep. He then slowly got up and carried Morgan to her warm bed and he planted a kiss on her cold lips before leaving her room. He searched the roofs of the building around him to the dark corners of the alley and yet, he could not find the one that lat out the sob that was filled with sorrow and despair. Finally, he saw a figure lying on the top of a tall roof, quite a distance from Morgan’s roof. He sets out towards the roof and was surprised to see a dainty figure shivering in the cold. Her red hair covered her face and she was curled into a tight ball. He then pushed her hair to a side and saw it was her. Afraid she might be in a hypothermic state, he prompted her up and he placed her in his warm embrace, trying to offer her as much warmth as possible. Her shivers were violent and he pulled himself closer to her. She then let out a soft sob and he noticed she was crying in her sleep. It pained him to see her in such pain; he then slowly rocked himself, trying to sooth her.

“Silly girl, why weren’t you prepared for the cold night?” he whispered softly to her.

Her shivers slowly decreased and her tears were no longer flowing. Michaela finally opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was his smooth face with a small scar on his right eyebrow; a scar which he carried when he saved her, a small remembrance of that horrible time. Michaela wetted her dry lips with her tongue.

“Hey,” she said after clearing her throat.

“Hey,” he said and smiled at her.

His smile sent warm chills in her body to her heart, slowly melting the hard ice that has wrapped tightly around her heart. At the horizon, orange rays were peeking out from the roaring sea, lighting every path, every corner. Michaela blinked once, twice and she was awed by the beauty of the warm sun. When the sunrays hit both her and him, she felt content and happy at both the warmth the sun was able to provide and the warmth of his embrace. Both of them sat there, watching the beauty of the sunrise with silence hung in to air. Soon, the birds started to chirp and the sound of car engines were fired up, filing the once quiet atmosphere into a busy one.

“I’ve got to go,” he said as he started to let go of her. Michaela didn’t want it to end, not just like that.

“Don’t go,” she whispered when he walked away and disappeared once more. Her heart was wrenched when she spied him going into Morgan’s room. She bit her lower lip to avoid from crying yet her effort was such a waste. She felt tears forming up in her eyes and poured down her cheeks, she squeezed her eyes tight, trying to capture the tears that are just about to escape but it was in vain. The sunlight caught one of her teardrop and it gleamed like a diamond, falling softly from a girl’s smooth cheek and onto the roof, shattered into millions of smaller droplets. Michaela started to taste blood, maybe it’s from the cut that was formed on her lip from biting too hard or from the thin slice of her heart, she doesn’t know. Finally, Michaela stood up, packed her bag and jumped down from the roof. But not after one last look at him talking softly to Morgan, with his face covered, when Morgan woke up from her sleep.

Morgan is lucky to have an angel, a protector whom will protect her with any cause. 

So, this is another quite sad scene for Michaela, more to come yet it will decrease soon. Maybe after the next chapter, who knows? (: